My Ponderances

Sometimes when I close my eyes, i can see the twinkling lights of Christmas past.

Sometimes when I fall asleep, my dreams take me back to Yesteryear, back to paradise. 

Sometimes I forget what it’s like to be unhappy all the time; I forget what it’s like living in a world where everyone is waiting for me to mess up.

And in those rare moments, I remember briefly what it’s like to be happy again, to be myself.

But we all have to wake up. 

if i were to just disappear, would anyone care?

It’s so easy to just give up. 

To just throw in the towel after working so hard for everything.

Working so hard for something that you will never achieve.

Working so hard that you feel like you’re about to fall apart at the seams. 

Working so hard that waking up every morning and living becomes a nightmare. 

What’s keeping me from doing it?